Going steady is like socialism: You exchange freedom for security. The price is far too high. A little rugged individualism is preferable in boy-girl relationships.
–Adele Starbird, The Dean Speaks Up column
Ms. Starbird was Dean of Women at Washington University for many years. I found her newspaper column with that quote while cleaning out some of my dad’s papers.
Why did he save it?
Well, among other things he possessed a couple of little black books. One was for work: as a death claims investigator after the Korean War he frequented the St. Louis city and county morgues. Getting information quickly and easily from lady clerks (who received flowers and candy on their birthdays or anniversaries) made his job much easier. The other book listed dozens of ladies’ names, addresses and phone numbers. Some had “x” or “✓” by their name. As a Wash U. student he probably appreciated the Dean’s ‘try them all’ philosophy. (Oh yes, considering the books weren’t found till 16 years after his death, he did a pretty good job of hiding things he probably shouldn’t have kept.)
How does this relate to 2025?
Let’s talk about incels (involuntary celibates) and Charle Kirk…
As violence has served as many individuals’ introductions to incels, much of the exploratory research on incels has centered around violent ideologies in an attempt to draw a parallel between these and the acts committed by individuals… characterize incels as violence-endorsing, misogynistic, anti-feminist, and belonging to a greater “manosphere” movement that also includes Men’ Right Activists, antifeminists, and pickup artists.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9780135/
Young men unable to attract and ‘catch’ young women? That’s a common thread online that’s reinforced by reality. As I’ve noted for years, more women than men are going to college. Per the CDC and others, white American women – especially white middle and upper class women – have decreased their marriage and birth rates. In a society which still loves Leave It To Beaver, a real man gets married, has kids and prospers in his career. Today many men (especially those with less education and social skills) get left alone. Energy which would have been consumed imitating Hugh Beaumont has to go somewhere.
Enter that incel subculture.
Can’t find a mate? Feminism creates lesbians.
Can’t get a good job? The deck is stacked against white men. Immigrants and people get the jobs.
What did Charlie Kirk promote? White men need to stand up for themselves. And, THEY are out to stop us! The Great Replacement theory. Kirk often said the quiet parts out loud. Following in Donald Trump’s call to action on 1/6/21, Kirk has led the Pied Pipers for the disaffected white guys.
Ever see Gangs of New York? The specifics are wonky but the theme of different religious and ethnic groups battling for control of neighborhoods is history. In more recent times anti-black sentiment has played to those same fears. Now it’s immigrants as the bad guys.
Reality, for course, is different. That lower birth rate means fewer workers at a time when the economy needs more workers. With effort many incels can improve their economic lot, thereby improving their odds finding companionship.
Remember too that nations which can’t expand their work force wither. Look at economic stats on Japan. (And remember that Japan hurts their own cause with a deep sense of xenophobia.)
The late Charlie Kirk did not invent incels nor anti-immigrant and racial disparagement. (Google his words about black airplane pilots.) He did make a career of throwing gasoline on the fire.
Of course, many already believed that THEY will replace us.
Glenn Koenen
Illustration: Charleston County Sheriff’s Office mugshot of Dylan Roof, an American mass murderer, white supremacist and neo-Nazi who perpetrated the church shooting on at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, South Carolina on June 17, 2015.