On a brisk Saturday morning in May 2009 my brother-in-law and I jogged about a third of a mile from where we parked the rented minivan, up the hill to the basketball arena. Up and down the stairs we went until we found family. I looked at the graduation program trying to find my daughter’s name. Then I died.
A few minutes later I came back around in the ambulance. Then I died again.
I remember so much of that morning in great detail…the stains on the ceiling in the Mercy Hospital emergency room, the punk haircut on a nurse in the cardiac lab, firemen calling me Gary (I don’t know why but my wife heard it too).
Yet, while the really important stuff (Drake, Des Moines, Dead) remains burned into my memory, I now have absolutely no idea what brand of minivan I’d rented, what clothes I wore or the names of any of the nurses who were all so careful to introduce themselves to me – and asked me to repeat back their names.
Educated at elite schools, including the same high school as current Justice Neil Gorsuch, Brett Kavanaugh is part of what some call the “American aristocracy” of wealthy, doctrinaire, reliable Republicans:
“the knowledge shared among its members that they live above democratic accountability” Go ahead and feel free to capitalize that “d” word.
Anyway, based on my life changing experience I understand while the woman Brett Kavanaugh quite possibly assaulted remains firm on the critical facts of their encounter even if some of the details melted away. And I appreciate why a Master Of The Universe male (to steal from Tom Wolfe) thought he could have his way with her.
Let me share…
❶ After decades spent interviewing folks at low points in their lives (and supervising other interviewers), I know that many people bear deep scars from events of their youth.
❷ Dealing with abused women as an interviewer, as one coordinating with those helping harmed women, and, as a board member for an organization reaching out to such women I know that sexual abuse is much more prevalent than most think.
Overall, one in three women has been the victim of violence. “Every two minutes ‘another American is sexually assaulted’ according to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), and 44% of the victims are under 18 years of age…” I’m also sad to report that I have met victims of rape from the best of families who attended the best of schools. Evil respects no class boundaries.
❸ The double standard is alive and well. Note all those willing to forgive felony sexual assault by a “high school boy” (even when his victim was a minor) while the President of The United States blames the victim for not running to the FBI. Why would any girl want to become a victim a second time?
❹ We all live in comprehensive communities consisting of the people and institutions around us. So, going to an all-boys school Gorsuch and Kavanaugh spent much of their teen years deprived of routine contact with girls of a similar age. Perhaps, I’ll venture, in such an environment young women were seen not as friends and classmates but as trophies.
True, not all who go to same-sex schools wind up warped. After all, the Catholic church has operated all-male seminaries for centuries and…never mind.
Alas, the events of a certain pool party at a ritzy house in Maryland probably will always remain contentious. That doesn’t mean there wasn’t reality there.
Glenn
Submitted by Glenn Koenen, WCD Member